Beach & Park Etiquette: Raising a Polite, Social Dog

Mark Vette is a world-renowned Animal Behaviourist, Zoologist and Trainer. He brings together a unique combination of academic studies with 40 years of applied clinical animal behaviour consulting and treatment. Mark is a member of the International Association of Animal Behaviour Consultants. This article was written by Mark and the views expressed are his own.

There’s nothing better than a sunny day spent at the park or beach with your dog. Fresh air, happy dogs, a splash in the waves — bliss!

But these shared public spaces come with responsibilities. As dog owners, our behaviour (and our dog’s) has a huge impact on whether everyone — two-legged, four-legged or winged — enjoys their day out. As a staunch dog lover, I’m a firm believer that we need to ensure our dogs have great manners in order to make a good name for dogs everywhere! If we allow our dogs to be troublesome, their access to these beautiful spaces may become more restricted.

So on that note - below are my top tips for raising a polite, social dog who’s welcome wherever they go!

Start early!

Great manners and fantastic sociability are so much easier to build when you start practising from puppyhood. Get your pup out and about, meeting new people and dogs and practising good manners, as early and as frequently as possible.

Read the room

Not every dog (or owner) wants to say hi — even if yours does.

Many dogs are at the beach or park for relaxation, training, or simply to walk peacefully with their families. Some dogs are nervous, injured, reactive or working dogs that need to stay focused.

When we allow our dogs to rush over to others, we can accidentally spark fear, reactivity, or conflict.

Take note of the other dog’s body language and the cues from their owner before you allow your dog to approach for a greeting. Always ask first if possible.

Green-light signals

• Loose, wiggly body
• Soft eyes and relaxed facial muscles
• Gentle tail wag at mid-height
• Ears neutral or slightly forward
• Owner is showing encouraging signals such as looking at you, waving or smiling, moving in your direction, or calling out “my dog is friendly!”

In these instances, it is polite to approach, if your dog is social!

Pause & assess

• Body goes still or upright/stiff when your dog comes close
• Tail held high or still, or low and or between legs
• Intense staring or hard eye contact
• Slow wag (vertical, high, or very stiff wag can mean tension — not happiness)
• Owner is not giving a clear indication that it’s okay to approach, is looking away from you, looking uncertain, or moving slightly away

In these cases, the dog may need space. Either let the interaction unfold slowly from a distance without getting too close or seek clarity from the other owner if they’d like to do a meet and greet.

Red-light signals

• Turning head away, avoiding eye contact
• Yawning or excessive lip-licking
• Freezing
• Ears pinned back or tight forward stare
• Tail tucked, or very still and high
• Moving away, hiding behind owner
• Growling, baring teeth, air-snapping
• Owner may be holding their dog back, trying to pull their dog away or control their dog’s reactions, or be signalling to you that they don’t want to greet

These dogs are clearly saying, “I’m uncomfortable — please give me space.” Respect that boundary — you’re helping keep the other dog safe, and you’re teaching your dog excellent social manners and impulse control by calmly moving on.

Remember the owner’s wishes are important. Even if the dog is showing encouraging, sociable body language, the owner still may not wish to do a meet and greet for various reasons - so always check in verbally with the other person first.

Managing excitement

It can be hard for young or excitable dogs — beaches and parks are sensory wonderlands! But we want enthusiasm to stay controlled.

Helpful practices at home first:

• Train a reliable sit-wait before releasing to play or move
• Build a strong “leave it”
• Practice “watch me” to get focus back when distracted
• Do lots of impulse control training (see exercise below) - this teaches your dog to manage those strong impulses they have, like the desire to rush up to other dogs
• A great recall is essential - a whole section dedicated to that below!

Out in the real world:

• Reward calm behaviour around other dogs
• Redirect if they focus if too hard on another dog or someone's picnic lunch
• Keep a long-line attached while training in busy spaces
• Move away if they are becoming hard to control

Try this exercise!

If your dog is a social butterfly who wants to greet everyone, focus on developing impulse control. This teaches your dog to regulate their arousal and not immediately rush off to whatever entices them.

A simple way to build this skill is to practise moving in and out of high arousal. For example, get into a lively game of tug, then stop suddenly and give a calm, firm Leave It. Ask for a few calming commands such as Sit, Down, or Wait, rewarding compliance. Then release and resume play. Repeat several times within a session.

This pattern trains your dog’s nervous system to switch between excitement and relaxation on cue — a vital skill for self-regulation. You can apply the same principle when your dog is playing with others: call them back periodically, reward calm focus, then send them to play again.

Over time, your dog learns that control and calmness don’t end the fun — they make it possible.

Respect wildlife & natural spaces

We’re lucky in Aotearoa — our beaches and parks are home to precious wildlife including penguins, seals, ground-nesting birds (like the gorgeous dotterels at my local beach), lizards, and more.

To keep them safe:

• Follow leash rules — they often exist to protect wildlife
• Avoid known nesting or roosting areas
• Teach a solid Leave It around birds and sea creatures
• Never allow your dog to chase wildlife — even "just for fun” without a hope of catching, as it is still stressful for the other animals

Leash laws & local rules

Every area has its own dog-access rules — and they can change seasonally. Keep an eye on signs and council guidance, especially on beaches during nesting season or busy summer periods.

Golden rules:

• Keep your lead on where required
• Carry a lead at all times
• Respect time-of-day restrictions
• Use long-lines for dogs still learning recall

Being compliant makes our beaches and parks safer and builds trust with the community — helping keep public spaces dog-friendly. I favour a retractable lead or long lead, to give my dog some freedom to move about and sniff freely - they take some skill to manage well, but can be very useful.

The big one…recall!

For the most part, a dog should only be off-leash if they will return reliably — even around distractions like other dogs, birds, or children playing.

To teach recall:

• Start at home, with your dog on a short lead
• Toss a treat away from you and encourage your dog to Get it!
• Once they’ve finished the food, give the Come! command
• Say yes, then reward with a treat when they get to you
• Once you’ve mastered this, switch to a long lead or retractable lead so you can practise at a greater distance, then finally practise off-lead at home
• Gradually proof the command in increasingly distracting situations - don’t just straight from home to the beach or park!

Tips to increase your success:

• Use plainer dog biscuits to practise at home, and delicious treats like chicken or cheese when out and about
• Use a friendly, high tone of voice for the Come! command and welcoming posture (crouch down, pat your thigh)
• In each new place you practise, start on a short lead for a few reps, then a long lead, then a long lead dragging behind your dog, before going off-lead
• Reduce breakfast before a training session so your dog is more enticed to come for the treat
• Practise recall games to help make it fun.

If your dog can’t yet recall away from excitement, that’s okay — they’re learning! Just keep them on a long-line while building the skill.

Leave no trace

Quick but important:

• Pick up poop
• Dispose of bags properly
• Keep curious noses out of people's bags & towels
• Bring fresh water and shade
• Watch that entire male dogs don’t mark on people’s belongings - a pile of bags on the beach can be a tempting target!

Being tidy and prepared shows respect for others and the environment.

Dogs are a joy, and a responsibility

A polite dog doesn’t just “behave” — they help others feel safe and relaxed. They show kids that dogs are great to be around. They make public spaces happier, calmer, and safer for everyone — including wildlife.

With a bit of training, awareness, and kindness, you and your dog can enjoy NZ’s beautiful biodiversity including beaches and parks without stress — and be welcome back anytime.